Thursday, February 23, 2006
The more time I spend without getting totally blasted the more I want it. I want a total reboot of my brain, but the doc at work said that I shouldn't do such cause it might affect my recovery from this... whatever it really is. Yet I want to go drink and get myself in to a condition where I don't remember anything the next morning. So it's my sensible side fighting against the "I wanna" feeling. Frustrating really.
Been wanting to draw lately. Clean my bookshelf maybe to make more room for books instead of useless junk. I do sports so atleast I do one thing I enjoy. Can't seem to find motivation for anything and after we've lowered the dosage of this one med my mood is way more likely to swing from one side to the other, but atleast I have feelings, the emptyness I had for a while was horrible.
I'm sitting here. Watching my cats play. Drinking coffee and trying to keep myself from calling a friend and telling him that we'll get drunk _now_. Pathetic, really.
Been wanting to draw lately. Clean my bookshelf maybe to make more room for books instead of useless junk. I do sports so atleast I do one thing I enjoy. Can't seem to find motivation for anything and after we've lowered the dosage of this one med my mood is way more likely to swing from one side to the other, but atleast I have feelings, the emptyness I had for a while was horrible.
I'm sitting here. Watching my cats play. Drinking coffee and trying to keep myself from calling a friend and telling him that we'll get drunk _now_. Pathetic, really.
# posted by dragonrat @ 12:10 PM 
