I'm neither for nor against apathy

So should I drink or just take sedatives? Bf likely not making it here today. So I could go out drinking with some people I know and I still feel like rebooting myself. These feelings shouldn't be herre though and I dunno what's brought them. I keep trying to eat healthy, I do sports. I do spend time off the computer and still. I guess I partially miss being social and the people I know here will drink and drink a lot, taking two ciders with me means I leave in two hours and that doesnt full the feeling of emptiness. I wish I knew what or who I am.
Oh... and my vacuum cleaner is busted. Whopdedoo