Friday, February 17, 2006
So what have I been doing lately
I've been trying to get my arse in line, of course. Doing sports, started swimming, which I've now not done for a while and started iaido in the hopes that my knee would be able to deal with it. So far iaido is very pleasurable and I enjoy doing it. Perform kata's at home as they seem to calm me down. Very nice.
Lately I've been working on a project to get the insurance company of where I work to get me on this work test thingie, shorter weeks, shorter days and slowly building up to a full week and now it finally fell through. So two more weeks of sick leave and off to work I go. Feels great and frightening at the same. I try not to stress on how I'll do, but I stress anyway.
I'm meant to keep a diary during this time I am programmed to be fit for work again, so I might be making more entries here as well, who knows.
Today seems to be a date for slight angst, I feel it building up inside me, but seem to just let it come. Listening to music I usually listen to when cycling or doing other sports where one needs energy, now I'm just feeding the angst. I don't exactly know why I'm doing this, but I guess it doesn't matter really.
Lately I've also been feeling like getting totally blasted. I want to get so drunk I don't remember what I've done, but there's the catch, I'm not to do that if I aim for ever getting better from this depression. Apparently it takes a depressed person about a month to recover from one evening of good drinking... but I'd give so much for rebooting my brains for just one evening. Going crazy, whatever, just getting that lovely feeling of not trying and not caring to keep everything in control, holding all the strings in my hand.
Angst, angst and the thrill of getting back to work.
Guess who's back.
Lately I've been working on a project to get the insurance company of where I work to get me on this work test thingie, shorter weeks, shorter days and slowly building up to a full week and now it finally fell through. So two more weeks of sick leave and off to work I go. Feels great and frightening at the same. I try not to stress on how I'll do, but I stress anyway.
I'm meant to keep a diary during this time I am programmed to be fit for work again, so I might be making more entries here as well, who knows.
Today seems to be a date for slight angst, I feel it building up inside me, but seem to just let it come. Listening to music I usually listen to when cycling or doing other sports where one needs energy, now I'm just feeding the angst. I don't exactly know why I'm doing this, but I guess it doesn't matter really.
Lately I've also been feeling like getting totally blasted. I want to get so drunk I don't remember what I've done, but there's the catch, I'm not to do that if I aim for ever getting better from this depression. Apparently it takes a depressed person about a month to recover from one evening of good drinking... but I'd give so much for rebooting my brains for just one evening. Going crazy, whatever, just getting that lovely feeling of not trying and not caring to keep everything in control, holding all the strings in my hand.
Angst, angst and the thrill of getting back to work.
Guess who's back.
# posted by dragonrat @ 11:04 AM 
