Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Haven't written here in ages, or atleast it seems ages to me. Not much has changed in life. Still depressed, still on the same meds that have not helped me before either. Now things change though as I'm going back to work. I have to, in order to get some cash and well, I think I want to return to work. I'm not sure about it though. Been having horrid nightmares about returning and right now I'm just feeling mentally exhausted, yet I don't know why.
I still miss Riku. I wish he'd be mine still, since I truly loved him, which was probably stupid of me. Atleast he contacted me again. Contact is good. Means we'll definedly make it through as friends. Atleast both are willing to work for it.
I'm very tired. Gotta get up early tomorrow morning to see my shrink. Yay. In the afternoon I'll get someone over, which is nice. Someone to cuddle up to. I'm so tired. I hope this works out, I hope I'll have a good future. I occationally fear though, if I can deal with it, if I've got the strenght for it. Everyone says that I do. I don't know about that. Just... Things have always failed when trying to go back with the same meds, same condition I am in and it has not worked...
I still miss Riku. I wish he'd be mine still, since I truly loved him, which was probably stupid of me. Atleast he contacted me again. Contact is good. Means we'll definedly make it through as friends. Atleast both are willing to work for it.
I'm very tired. Gotta get up early tomorrow morning to see my shrink. Yay. In the afternoon I'll get someone over, which is nice. Someone to cuddle up to. I'm so tired. I hope this works out, I hope I'll have a good future. I occationally fear though, if I can deal with it, if I've got the strenght for it. Everyone says that I do. I don't know about that. Just... Things have always failed when trying to go back with the same meds, same condition I am in and it has not worked...
# posted by dragonrat @ 10:41 PM 
