I'm neither for nor against apathy

I was too upset to write anything here yesterday. A lot of trouble at work due to me being unable to work shifts and they're pretty muchly saying that if I won't get myself in shape, I'll get sacked. Unfortunately I don't have such a magic button to press and make myself all better again. Also I was told that I'm not even trying. That was pretty damn annoying. I've returned to work again, I've tried it a lot of times before. I eat drugs that I don't want to eat and got myself a shrink and everything. Yet, I'm not trying. Why are they trying to kill the last bit of interest and strenght I've got?
Well, that was yesterday. Today I woke up at 5am as alarm went off, turned it to ring an hour later and slept some more. Got up at 6am and signed myself in to work at 7am unlike the usual 6:30am. There really wasn't much work to do today, but I did whatever showed up and did all of it. Had to stand at times and boss came to actually order me to work when there was nothing I could work on. That was a tad pissy, really. Then I polished a few places, did some more socialising and left for home. Managed to visit the store on my way home and actually buy some food as well. Really need to start eating, with the physical work I do and the cycling there and back. Right now, I'm tired. Lonely. The usual shit. So there.