I'm neither for nor against apathy

Today was and is not a very good day. Started somewhat normal, I get up at the first sound of the alarm going off, eat and take the buss to work. Feeling rather tired from the beginning though, but I go and do the welding that needs to do. Keep getting more tired and tired no matter how I focus on work, then the machine starts breaking up, first from the machine itself, then from the handle end. That really gets me heated up to the point of no return. I'm tired, was tired then, went to speak with stepdaddy and couldn't even hold back my tears. Talked to a co-worker as well as he came to joke about me not managing to get those things welded that I was to weld while I was wrestling with the machine. Seeing my state he told me to just try and relax. Try and calm down. Is not like I can then though. Had to call the boss, had to get sick leave for the rest of the week. I am such a fucking loser. I dunno why I have to be like this. I don't want to. I should make it, everyone else does.
From the very beginning this has been a vittusaatanaperkele of a day...