I'm neither for nor against apathy

I finally got the decision from social services that I'll be getting money. I suppose I should cheer as it's a rather important thing, but well. I'll at least manage to go on with eating and such.
I'm rather lonely nowadays. Missing some friendships and all that junk. Got invited to a birthday party at Orimattila again. Doubt I'll go there. Grown so far apart from that place. Nothing there for me anymore. They're not something I'd consider friends. Just people I know. If a friend of mine invited me over, it'd be a different matter all together.
Summer's nearing. Been cycling outdoors and waiting till it'll be ok to start rollerblading again. Not getting as much pleasure out of those things than I've usually done. Dunno why. Feel a bit numb all over.
Been thinking of asking local friends of they're going out and if I could squeeze in, but always decided not to. I should not drink alcohol. I want to. Should not. Relaxing with familiar people around me would be fun though and in my book some alcohol does go in to it. Hell, I don't know how to relax without.
I suppose that's all that's happened lately. So there's no doubt about the fact that my life's nonexistent and thus also rather boring.
I'll just go with the flow.