Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Had Daddy visiting for a bit longer than usual today. Was a bit silent at first, but we then managed to start speaking about things. Or rather I managed to open my mouth. I have not yet dealt with my feelings on loosing Uuno. I just keep swallowing all those feelings and trying to go on. I can cry, but I won't let it all through. I just hold on to him. Can't loose him. He'll stay in my memories, but I don't want to let him go and fade to those.
I am trying to work on a possible life. Leaving the computer alone most of the time and just doing sports and other smater stuff. I wish I had someone to live with though. Happiest days of my life are something I can't return to. Shouldn't think about the past anyway, no reason living for it when there could be a nice future ahead.
I'm sad now. I do not wish to be alone, but I don't know what the hell else I can do.
Friend was supposed to come and meet me, tomorrow or thursday. Apparently he can't now then. Not met for years now and then this meeting doesn't work out. Makes me rather bitter.
I am trying to work on a possible life. Leaving the computer alone most of the time and just doing sports and other smater stuff. I wish I had someone to live with though. Happiest days of my life are something I can't return to. Shouldn't think about the past anyway, no reason living for it when there could be a nice future ahead.
I'm sad now. I do not wish to be alone, but I don't know what the hell else I can do.
Friend was supposed to come and meet me, tomorrow or thursday. Apparently he can't now then. Not met for years now and then this meeting doesn't work out. Makes me rather bitter.
# posted by dragonrat @ 4:12 PM 
